Hey everyone! I just did an AMA on intensives for FB–it’s been a while since I did one–so here’s the link, transcript is in progress. I had some great questions to work with, and fun as always.
https://www.facebook.com/667121139/videos/269961785533881
0:07
Hey, everyone, it is so good to be live. It’s been so long since I’ve been live. And we’re trying new setups we’re trying from my computer, I’m in a new space. So there may be some technical difficulties. I don’t know. Anyway, the reason I decided to go live is because I feel like it’s long past time for me to redo an AMA kind of thing for the intensives Institute and about intensives in general. So I threw up a question on Facebook, and y’all were great and responded. And so I’m just going to answer your questions, and see What else I can give you as basic. So for those of you who somehow managed to miss every piece of content I’ve ever made about intensives, intensives and expansives are two ends of a personality spectrum that I developed. On the one side, we have expansives, who are like our slow, steady, even keeled sorts of folks. And on the other side, we have our intensives who are the go, stop, go stop people we are go like how unrest like the dead we get really into the meat of conversations, we don’t really have time for small talk. We tend to be really into things or not into things at all, we’re kind of all or nothing people by default. And we tend to be disruptors and innovators, we don’t really like authority unless it’s our own. And that means that when we encounter a system, that doesn’t make any sense, we’re not going to comply with it. Not out of any malicious sense, unless it offends our sense of morality. But just because it doesn’t make sense to us. So that’s who intensives are. And expansives are kind of the other end of the spectrum expansives are more duty driven, more data driven expansives, Mr. Slow and steady wins the race. And of course, these are variable sets of characteristics. So it’s possible to be an intensive and have some characteristics from expensiveness, or be expensive and have some characteristics from intensiveness. But when you see a predominance of characteristics on one side, or the other that kind of tells you who you are, if you would like to take an assessment that will help you figure out which one you are if you don’t feel like you instinctively. Now, you can go to intensives institute.com/assessment. And there’s a whole it’s I think, 120 130 question assessment that will give you a clearer idea of of where you fall on this spectrum. So with that as backdrop background, let me pull up the answers to my AMA. So I threw up a question on Facebook, I said, Hey, What questions would you like me to answer? And you responded, which is fantastic. So I’m gonna start with lonnis questions. She asks, What do routines look like for intensives? Is it hard for them to develop habits like it is for ADHD? Folks? Essentially, how do you help intensives establish consistency? This is a really interesting question, because it really points to the intensives attraction to novelty. So we want to be consistent. We want to build habits. Direct, the direct answer is some intensives have ADHD or similar characteristics. And so it is hard to build habits, other folks don’t. And so it’s less hard to build habits. I don’t have ADHD, I am no divergent, but not with ADHD. And so What happens is, I can build a habit, but I have to set it up just right, because there are so many other things. I don’t like to be told What to do. And when I start to create a habit, it feels like I’m telling myself What to do. Or it feels like somebody else is telling me What to do one way or the other. And either way, I don’t like it. I don’t even like to tell myself What to do. So how do I get around that? Often I get around that with a menu of possibilities, like I know this week, sometime I have to do XYZ. And so I will put XYZ on the menu and when I feel like doing XYZ as opposed to everything else on the list, then I’ll do it. And I don’t really have to love to do XYZ I just have to want to do it more than I want to do any of the other things on the list. So I’m giving myself a choice but it’s a kind of a limited choice tactic. When you really want to develop consistency. It really depends whether you have ADHD, if you don’t have ADHD then the way that you can develop consistency as an intensive is simply by doing it again and again and I set up a lot of cues I do use alarms I use moving things out of their usual place so for a while I was taking a medication that had to be taken like in the morning with my with my tooth brushing about that time, but I had to take it was from it was had to be refrigerated. So What I did was I stored my toothbrush in the refrigerator and after a while I got In the habit of like holding a cold toothbrush and reaching for the thing in the refrigerator, and then it became ingrained in me that I needed to go to the refrigerator. And it felt weird to just be in the bathroom, brushing my teeth. So, for me, it’s about setting up these kind of deep level intuitive senses of the way things should be. Like, if you’ve driven the same route, excuse me a million times, then you turn the wrong way, one day, it just feels wrong. Or this thing with the when you clasp your hands back and forth. So if you, I’ll just run you through this exercise really quickly, in case you haven’t done it, you clasp your hands, and you’re gonna have one thumb on top. But then if you switch your hands back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth, you’ll notice that it doesn’t feel as weird after a while to have your other thumb on top. And that’s because you’re starting to build a neuronal pathway. Now I’ve done this exercise so many times, that I actually have a fairly strong neuronal pathway for the other thumb on top, the dominant thumb is still a little bit more comfortable, but only a little bit. And that’s because I’ve done this, switching my hands back and forth from this, to that, to this to that so that one time and then the other time is on top, eventually the other time feels more normal. But that sense of like this thing doesn’t feel right, this thing doesn’t feel normal is really useful for helping me set up routines. Because when I set up a routine for myself, I start to create a sense of discomfort when I haven’t done the thing in the routine. Now, the neurology of ADHD is such that that doesn’t really happen the same way for folks with ADHD. So if you have ADHD, I would highly recommend you follow some ADHD oriented advice. But as for intensives, really What we need for consistency is we need to want to do it. And it needs to feel wrong to do it the other way. And also we need to not be bored. So it’s really important for us to inject to novelties to inject some some variation into whatever it is you can be consistent, but the but the consistency. The last thing I’m going to say about this is that the the the What do you call it, the frequency of the consistency like the cat, there’s a word for it, when you when you have a wave, and the wave repeats over a particular length of time. That is longer for intensives. So expansives might have a little wave where they do the same thing every day, and the wave looks like this. Every day, the wave goes up and down. intensives will often have a wave that’s much bigger, its amplitude is higher, but also that frequency is longer. And so What happens is, when you want to be consistent, you have to be consistent across a larger period of time. So you’re not going to be consistent daily, you’re going to be consistent, maybe weekly, or maybe monthly, you’re going to create space spaciousness around that consistency, so that you can move it around a little bit so that you can juggle it a little bit, I’m fairly consistent about producing podcast episodes, unless I’m depressed. But when I’m producing them, I’m usually batch producing them two or three at a time, sometimes more. Sometimes I’ll make a whole list of ideas, because I’m super inspired. But I know I can’t talk that long. So it’s, it’s, it’s a matter of understanding that our our action wave our phase, right, the intensives go and the intensives stop is is much longer than it is for expansives for expansives. It’s nice and short. And for intensives it’s long.
8:59
I’m getting a notice that says that my key frame rate is too low. But there’s nothing really I can do about that. So I’m hoping that it’s not affecting the video quality, too badly.
9:16
So, so that’s What I would say is that remember, ultimately, remember that intensive consistency is over a very long, very much longer period of time, then for an expensive, so where an expensive repeats, often within a 24 hour period or even less, and intensive, is active and then inactive over a period of days or weeks or even months. So reconfigure What consistency means. And that’s true of a lot of this stuff. It’s not that intensives can’t or won’t do a lot of these things. It’s that we need to do them differently in a different context. Thank you so much for asking that question. So Sasha said, I love hearing you speak about collaborative leadership. You have a way of removing the Jen I’m trumpet. And I’d love to hear more about that I still use terms like masculine and feminine energies because I don’t have another developed enough language for it yet. And then she’d like to hear also about my thoughts on faith and business and raising kids and faith. So this is a little off the topic, but that’s fine. Collaborative Leadership, I find I saw I think What you’re asking for is
10:33
I think What you’re asking for is Lang a language to use around collaboration or mutuality, that isn’t gendered and you’re already using it. Right? Collaborative Leadership isn’t gendered language. And mutuality, is not gendered language. There are so many ways we can talk about my like go to is say What you really mean. So if you’re using masculine and feminine as shorthand, spell out What that shorthand means to you, if What you mean by masculine is assertive, and directive, then call it assertive leadership or directive leadership. Call it linear, if it’s linear. And if you’re talking about things that are more collaborative, more mutual, more like spiral shaped, I know in pedagogical circles, we often talk about how learning can be kind of helical, then say that, say, I’d like to create an atmosphere where we are co supportive and interdependent, and where our learning process is understood to be helical, where we circle back, but we circle back at a different level, and we go deeper or higher or whatever. And if you’re talking about like, Okay, this is a time when we all just need to learn to be good followers, which by the way, is a really useful skill. And it really can be an incredibly powerful place to be. We all need to learn to be good followers for each other. We all need to learn not to argue with each other quite so much. Then say that, say we need to learn how not to argue when it’s not important when it’s not germane to the to the process we’re in talk about how you know, rather than the language of submission, we think about followership as an as an incredibly powerful moment where people can lend their own power to whoever is leading in that moment. So if I’m in a room, and there are five of us who are incredibly aware and organized and capable, and can pick up the leadership role, but I recognize I don’t have to be the leader, because there are five of us who could be. And we’re just going to end up struggling with each other if we all do it. But we do need one clear leader so that we can move forward, sometimes that’s what’s needed, then I might just decide to throw my power behind a different leader and say, Okay, I’m going to do What this leader is doing, I’m going to support What this leader is saying, I’m going to get in line behind them not because I’m less than, and not because all leadership should be this way. But because in this moment, this is what’s needed. And as a leader in this room, I want to support us doing the thing. And the way that I can do that is by engaging in a more linear kind of structure, and supporting somebody else’s leadership. front of the room leadership is another phrase that people often use leading from the front of the room instead of the back of the room or the side of the room, talking about the way that you can lead by kind of telling people What to do and how to do it. Or you can lead with people or you can lead from behind by supporting and encouraging. All of those are really important leadership styles, none of them have a gender. So that’s What I would say about the gender piece. That’s for raising kids in faith. I come from a tradition that is deeply embedded in questioning, and deeply embedded embedded in conversation. And so What I believe about raising children in faith is that children like adults have an inherent sense of the sacred in the world. I don’t think any of us are born without knowing that something is special and vibrant and alive, and What I call holy and that doesn’t necessarily mean God like this. What I want to be clear about is this doesn’t exclude atheists. My parents are atheists. I grew up atheist. I became theist because of direct experiences that I had. But but the the process for me was really struggle filled because it didn’t make any sense. And I wanted it to make sense and sometimes theology and religion don’t make sense. Sometimes that’s not What faith is about. But encouraging kids to both name and describe an experience into the wonder and the magic, and the mysteries that they encounter in the world. And also to question everything. Go ahead and be in that question space, go ahead and know that you don’t know, go ahead and find out What you are. What are you? What are you curious about? And where does it go? And how does it lead and, and the other piece? For me, the other piece is doing that in community. So finding, if you you know, I, you know that I mean, attend Universalist ministers, so I encourage people to find a community. If it’s Unitarian Universalist congregation, that’s great. If it’s not a Unitarian Universalist congregation, find another community of people who are being inquisitive, and supportive and curious, in the same way that you would want your kids to be about any kind of learning. They’re learning the whole world, and this is one part of the world. And you can raise them that way. You can raise them to believe What they believe and respect What other people believe you can raise them to question and be curious and engage with the sacred in whatever way feels holy to them, and also respect all beings and the whole world is this entire web of beingness that we’re part of. So that’s What I would say about faith and raising children in faith.
16:24
And faith in business, to me, faith and business are completely interlocked. I don’t, I don’t. I don’t know how to live without my life, being a manifestation of my faith, and my beliefs and my religion. Almost every decision I make is inflicted, by the way that I practice my faith. This is how I am a Unitarian Universalist. And so business is just an extension of that I’m in business, to help the world be a better place to help reduce suffering to help make people more. To help make people more equipped for the world more equipped to make good decisions more equipped to care for each other and more equipped to understand our interdependence. All of that, to me, is a key thing that businesses can do and often don’t do. But in a world that is so dominated by business, we can’t not, we can’t not attend to those things. Or we don’t attend to those things at our peril. And so my goal, and my choices in my business, are about how do I bring the very best of the world impact of my faith? And my practices? into everything that I do? How do I help people create businesses that support good ethics? How do I help people create businesses that support good care for each other, and interdependence, like, all of these things are important. And that’s how I live them out is, is in this work. And that’s What happens when you go to seminary before you become a business owner. Heather asked, How do you tell the difference between a squashed intensive and a cranky? expansives? How do you tell the difference between squashed intensives and a cranky expansives. So for those of you who haven’t taken the full intro Clark course, one of the most powerful groups of people in terms of trying to stomp out intensiveness are actually intensives. But they’re intensives, who have internalized this cultural moral judgment about intensiveness, that intensiveness is bad. And so there’s this kind of internalized, intensive phobia that causes people to lash out at other intensives who are expressing their intensiveness. So for example, and we often see this across generations, because the generations immediately above me older Gen X and up often. We’re really clear that especially women should not absolutely ever be intensive. And so intensiveness when it shows up when when you have a younger Gen X or a millennial or a Gen Z person, and it’s not always generational, but it’s often generational, or somebody who’s older and is finally just said, I’m done. I’m not going to let you know all these restrictions be part of my life anymore. You’ll have you’ll have a situation where somebody basically shouts at you at me and says, Well, how dare you tell people they can just do these things. You can’t just do these things. I had this happen once with a Silent Generation lawyer that I encountered and she had been stuffing her intensiveness her entire her life. And she was in her probably 70s When I had this conversation with her, and she was so angry with me for saying that it was Okay to be this way and do these things. And I think part of that is because there would have been fairly severe consequences, she was a lawyer. And there would have been fairly severe consequences for a woman of her age to have gone ahead and been untrammeled li intensive, out in the world, in her professional life, especially like it would have been very hard for her to succeed in the way that she had. So it’s not to say that there aren’t consequences, there are often consequences. And we have to, we have to, we have to pay attention to them. We don’t necessarily have to modify our behavior for them. But we should know What we’re doing, if we’re going to get in there. And it was, it was the most fascinating conversation for me, because I found that she was, like, expressing all this bottled up rage. And then I encountered it again, in a woman who’s a little younger. I just written my book, and I was telling her about it over, you know, can family dinner situation. She wasn’t a close relative of mine. She was a close relative of someone I was close with. And she just she stood up at the table, and she leaned over and she said, Well, how dare you just write a book. You can’t just write a book like that. And I said, but I just did. And that was like entirely the wrong answer it I think it pissed her off for the rest of the day. But but it was the it was the right answer, because it was What was true. But it was also it was so hard for her it was so offensive for her. So when I talk about intensives, squished intensives that’s What I’m talking about. And What Heather’s asking about here is, how can you tell the difference between someone who’s a squished intensive who really needs to be supported and coming into their intensiveness and making space in their life and in their mind for the fact that they are intensive, and somebody who is expansive, and is just really irritated or possibly overstimulated and kind of overtaxed by spending time with intensives. Because a cranky expensive, will need a very different kind of care. So the fundamental principle of the intensive, expensive framework is that everyone needs should get met all of the time, including yours. But trying to figure out how to meet people’s needs is the hard part and the framework, it’s obviously it’s not foolproof, obviously, you should talk to people and ask people if you can, but getting a toehold, getting a sense of What people might need is much easier once you have the framework in your mind and in your system, once the people around you know, the framework to. So if you have a cranky intensive, you need to like give them space to feel their grief and their anger and then work through it. And then they can like come through the other side and really be intensive and make space for them to be intensive and support them in the ways that you’d support an intensive with things like novelty with things like emotional hooks with things like this kind of high energy engagement. Whereas with an expensive, you probably are going to want a very different set of support, and expensive who’s cranky needs, space and consistency and systems and reliability, and needs to know that everything’s going to be exactly the same so that they can kind of lean into that, and rest in not having to anticipate constant changes and constant pivot. So the way that you tell the difference, in part, it’s, it’s like we do a lot of medical treatment these days, which is to say, you ask them, which sounds What sounds appealing. So you say to the expensive? Would it help if I and then you list off some things that you’re considering doing? If they were an expensive, you say Would it help? If I gave you more notice on these things in the future? Would it help? If I gave you a calendar of the next three months? And What we think is going to happen? Would it help if and with an intensive, What you’re going to do is you’re going to say like Would it help? Would you like it if I you know, gave you some more in depth interesting projects do you need a little more flexibility in your schedule, kind of guessing around those two things and see how they respond expansives are not particularly direct communicators, but they will still light up when you hit the right thing. And they will accept anything. But but so keep offering and look for the light. And with intensives they will you’ll see it right away. Like we don’t have poker faces most of the time. So so you’re gonna look at an intensive and you’re gonna say how would you feel? Would it helped to have more structured and they’re gonna go and you say What would it help if you had a little more freedom? Like if I gave you just a little more flexibility in your schedule, and that face is gonna light up and you’re gonna go huh that’s an intensive that’s a squished intensive but it’s still an intensive and What you’ll hear in intensives is a lot of self judgment. So a lot of like, I wish I could be better, I wish it could be more grown up, I wish you could just get organized. You know, you’ll recognize an intensive often from the like six planners that they started never stopped. This is something that also we see in folks with ADHD. But ADHD and intensiveness don’t always overlap. So you’re going to look for signs of intensiveness in the way they behave in the way that they respond. Especially when they’re under stress. Because under stress, they won’t be able to fake the expansiveness as well. So really, What you’re doing is kind of detective work, exploring What will What makes them What, especially with an intensive, there’ll be like I should do this, there’ll be a lot of should if they’re squished. Whereas an expansives will be like, Oh, I’m going to do this. And they’ll just make a list. And they’ll do it. Like the expansives, the person who just naturally makes the list, and it works. And the intensive is the person who makes the list and then abandons it, and then gets sucked away to something else that’s more interesting, that has more novelty, that doesn’t feel like it’s telling them What to do. So look for those characteristics in how they behave, and then engage with them accordingly. That’s What I would say about that.
26:21
Yeah, so I sort of went on and answered the second part of your question, Heather, which was and What to do with team members in those spaces, or about yourself, if you’re one, What helps. So I don’t know whether you mean a squished intensive or What whether you mean an expensive, but if you’re a squished intensive, it can feel really scary, to unscrew ish. It’s a whole identity shift, because you’re learning that you’re Okay, that you’re not wrong. You’re learning that there are ways that you operate that work just fine. You’re going through the frustration and the grief of recognizing that you could have had supports for the way that you operate in the world and you didn’t. So in these respects, it’s a little like discovering your artistic or discovering that you’re trans. Like, it’s, it’s this moment of like, Oh, my whole life has been hard. And it could have been easier if only people weren’t so rigid about the way that they think that things should happen. But once you’ve gotten through that initial process, then it’s a matter of trying things, it’s a matter of experimenting, it’s a matter of engaging that novelty drive. And if you’re cranky, expensive, give yourself systems, give yourself structures, give yourself space inside those systems and structures. Ask for those things. I know it’s hard, especially if you work with an intensive but ask for those things directly. Say, I’ve got some needs I’d like to talk with you about and then give them a list. Have a conversation. Tell them that you need to start work on time and and work on time, basically every day? And What can we do to get as close to that as possible? How can we work together to get my needs met, and your needs met, you don’t want to not meet the other person’s needs, but you do want to get your own needs met. And if you’re, if your intensiveness isn’t a good fit for your role, let’s say you’re I don’t know an accountant and your intensiveness doesn’t, doesn’t focus on accounting skills, then maybe you need to look for another role, maybe you need to have a conversation about What things you actually find interesting, maybe the part of accounting that’s interesting is like developing the formula and the spreadsheets that do the work. But then once they’re developed, you don’t want to use them. So maybe there’s a way that you can lift that work off of the shoulders of the expansives and just do the development work and leave the implementation the utilization to the expansives on the team. It’s worth talking to your colleagues and seeing What they hate doing What you hate doing confessing out whether they’re expansives Whether you’re intensives and and then figuring out who should be doing which jobs even if it kind of over even if it kind of overreaches your your your the bounds of your regular job description. Let’s see What else and fan asked how do you know if you’re an intensive I covered that a little bit at the beginning? What are some key things intensives need in order to feel fulfilled and fill their potential? I would say definitely novelty, deeper meaning we need to be engaged in big work or big creativity or something that plugs us in outside of the little tiny capsule of the environment that we work in. We need emotional hooks, we need them. If we’re not emotionally hooked in we’re not interested. And we need to feel valued. We need to feel like people respect us we need to have a lot of freedom. Where it’s fine to Give us responsibility, we just need freedom to. And then we need support, we need all the supplies. And that’s like tangible and non tangible supplies both. But we need if we say we need a particular pen or particular kind of paper, that’s What we need. If we need a particular piece of software, that’s probably What we need. If we need, you know, a trip to the ocean, sometimes that’s the thing we need, and we won’t be able to do anything until we do that. So we really need to be hyper attentive to our needs, and to figuring out how to make them as easy to meet as possible. pitfalls that intensives should be aware of as entrepreneurs. So so when we are entrepreneurs, and we are setting out on our own, usually, because we didn’t work well under other people’s authority, we don’t like authority unless it’s our own. So eventually start companies, that’s What happens. We need to be aware that our impulse that we’re always right is usually true. And also, yes, you’re probably right. And also, you might need to be gentler. And also, you might be right with like, some caveats. You might be right and need to take advice from someone you might be right and need help from an expensive almost certainly you are right and need help from an expensive and the the the number one thing for really new entrepreneurs is the person, the first person you need to hire is not a VA, almost certainly it’s not a VA, I can talk I could talk just about that about who you should hire first. But the person you need has a more robust skill set than just a Viet you need somebody who can engage much more deeply in your work and much more specifically and intimately in your work. And that’s going to feel vulnerable, and it’s going to take longer, and it’s going to be harder, and you’re probably going to pay more money, but it’s worth it. It’s worth it because that person becomes a collaborator. And that’s What you need is a collaborator, probably collaborator who’s more expensive than you possibly collaborator who is actually a true expensive, but definitely at least two points more expensive than you.
32:08
Let’s see, What are the strengths that we bring to entrepreneurship, everything, oh, my God, everything we’re so able to think of new stuff and solve problems that nobody thinks are solvable. And, and we just get, we get too excited and passionate about the work that we do, the pitfall there is that, we have to remember that our staff, our employees, or contractors are not that excited about our work. They’re excited, but they’re not that excited. So we have to keep in mind that we can’t expect them to have that level of excitement. But also, we are creative, and we are engaged and we are interested, and we are Yeah, we’re alive. We are life force is driven by our entrepreneurship, when they line up correctly. Entrepreneurship gives us the opportunity to enact our values in a way that almost nothing else does, almost no other kind of work does. And it gives us the opportunity to affect the world in very concrete, specific direct ways and to make the world a better place. And for those of us for whom integrity is a high value, which is almost all of us, all of those things are, are are really critical to our mental health to our continued presence on the planet. It’s really important for us to have access to those. So those are strengths that entrepreneurship brings us but they’re also strengths that we bring to entrepreneurship let’s see anything else? Yes, one more. Okay. So how does on Amanda asked How Does knowing if I’m an intensive helped me build a business 10 My clients 10 myself, how does this help me build the framework for life? I love living. My short answer in the comments was all the ways but really, how does knowing if I’m an intensive helped me build a business. It helps you build a business that works for you. So if you’re an intensive, and you try to build a business, according to all the common business building expertise stuff out there, it’s gonna suck because none of the systems work for us as intensives all of the advice out there whether you’re building a basically online, you know, email list based business, or whether you’re building like a brick and mortar business, it doesn’t work for us to think of ourselves as people for whom those systems, the typical systems work. The typical systems are designed to rely on the strength of an expensive, they’re designed by expansives They’re designed for expansives and they rely on the strength of expansives. So like this idea that you should And, and they market to expensive customers. So for example, let’s talk about email marketing for a minute. When you’re sending out an email, and you’re Mark, you’re an expensive marketing to expansives, it’s going to be fairly easy for you to be like, Oh, I write an email every Monday. And you’re going to sit down and write an email every Monday, and then you’re going to send it out. If you’re an intensive, you’re not going to write an email every Monday, you’re not going to do it. And furthermore, if you’re marketing to intensives, they’re not going to read it. Because it’s not interesting. I just posted a thing on LinkedIn that said, if you’re not sending me poems, I’m not reading your email. And that is true. I am not reading newsletters that don’t have a very strong like, poetic, creative, artistic component right now. Because everything just kind of blurs together, it all sounds the same. And I know people have good ideas, but I can’t even parse it anymore. Do you know how full my inbox is? I don’t want to hear from people unless they have an inspired poem. And if they have an inspired poem, and they send it to me, I will devour it. Maura glatzel used to do this brilliantly, she would send out an email that had a little if you want to listen to this, hit play link at the top. And every time her emails would come in, they would come in early in the morning, and I would see it in my inbox often before I got out of bed. And I would lie down with my eyes closed and hit play and just listen to Mark glatzel. Talk to me for like five minutes. And then I could go on with my day. That’s the kind of compelling the intensives want, we want to feel compelled. And we want to feel excited about people’s emails. And that means that there has to be something gorgeous in there. Something fascinating in there something that speaks to a special interest or something that’s just just so that we’re so hungry for that it fills us right up. So when we know that we’re intensive, we tell people upfront, we’re not going to send an email every week week, we’re going to send email when we want to send email, you know why we’re going to send email when we want to send email because that’s when we’re going to have something good to say that’s when we can justify asking someone to take time and energy and open the email that we sent. But if we’re marketing to expansives, they’re going to want that consistency, because that consistency is What makes them feel cared for. So we have to know am I in intensive and expensive is my audience intensives expensive, how do those things that are active, I’m an intensive with other intensives, I can just be intensive at them and be clear about What I’m doing. If I’m interacting with expansives, I need to provide them with a certain kind of consistency that I have to deliberately implement because it doesn’t come naturally to me. So it helps me it helps me know how to market. It helps me know how to set up the structures of my business so that I don’t expect myself to write that email every week, it’s not reasonable to expect me to write an email every week, or God forbid, every day. Nanananana No, no, that’s not going to happen. So I just don’t create stress by not creating a business that expects that of me. I know I need to hire I know I need to batch process. Sometimes I’ll sit down and write five posts. And as long as I can schedule them, I will note that Facebook doesn’t let me schedule posts, but LinkedIn does. And that means that I can show up more consistently on LinkedIn without having to benfold spindle turn mutilate my intensiveness. And so I can do that I can show up every day, which I know the algorithm rewards. And recognizing when you know going after those algorithmic rewards are just is just not a useful tactic. And instead, we need to just get out there and make more coffee dates, I need to make more coffee dates. That’s something I need to do. Because that’s how I build my business. That’s how I build my network. That’s how I share. That’s how I support other people. That’s What I want to be doing is knowing people so that when someone says Do you know somebody who does bla bla bla bla bla, I can be like, uh, yeah, actually, I do. I’ve had some really amusing personal moments like that, where someone’s like, do you know someone who? And I’m like, yeah, actually, let me hook you up. So, for me, that’s much more effective than a lot of other community building, and yet showing up as myself on Facebook consistently. And again, back to the consistency question that doesn’t mean every day or every other day or any of that stuff. What it means is when I have something to say I go to Facebook and say it showing up in that way has allowed me to get the word out about the work that I do and I am a little bit evangelical about this work not in a religious way, but in a everybody will benefit from having this information way. So that’s how it helps me build my businesses. I know who I am and how I operate. Get most easily and where the highest friction is, and What I might do to reduce that friction, both between me and the people I work with, between me and my Clinton between me and my colleagues, between me and my clients, and between me and the kind of larger world or the public figure part of having an online business. So I hope that answered your question about tending. It helps build the framework because it makes it easier to know and articulate What you need. And it makes it easier to claim it as legitimate and real. And it makes it easier therefore, to simply set boundaries and create structures that support it to put up that latticework or that framework that allows you to build on it in such a way that you have What you need. And when you have What you need, you can do What you’re here to do better. So that’s the end of my list. I don’t see any other questions coming up. I hope I haven’t missed posts, I don’t have. I don’t have a lot of information about what’s going on on Facebook, when I’m in the streaming window looks like. But it has been great to answer these questions. I hope that this was engaging for you that this answered some of the things that you’ve been thinking about that this gave you a little bit more insight into the intensive, expensive framework. If this interests you, there are a couple of things you can do. If you’re interested in having me work with you or your company get in touch, you can DM me and we’ll I’ll give you the link to set up a meeting. So we can talk about how I might be able to help you.
41:43
And if you’re not in need of direct one to one kinds of support, but you’re still interested in engaging with this material, I do have a membership for the institute. It’s $42 a month for the leadership level, which is the level I encourage leaders to join. And it’s $10 a month for the basic level. And that gives you opportunities to meet other intensives it gives you access to a gallery where I occasionally post things that I find interesting on the internet, a private member podcast and of course, some directories that allow you to find other intensives. So if that interests you get in touch with me as well. And I’ll help you get set up for that. There’s also of course, there’s a book, your not too much that came out in 2016. You can find it on Amazon or order it through Ingram if you’re an indie sort of person. I’ve discovered recently that a lot of people don’t know that book exists. So I’ve started talking about it again. It was a lot of fun to write. There are some aspects of the framework that I’ve added since the book was written but everything in the book is still fairly solid. And yeah, I’m I’m exploring What else I can do to get the word out about this material. So if you have ideas, feel free to contact me and let me know What you would love to see and What you would love to participate in. Thanks so much for being here.