Sometimes there’s a reality in the fake that isn’t in the real thing. We always craft our narratives- bringing forward some details, pushing other details back. This way we tell a story that feels real, without the distraction of all of the facts that complicate the thing and make it difficult for our listeners to know what is important, and what is not. When we are careful and when we are wise and when we are skilled with the art of carving a story out of a set of facts: that’s when we move the world forward.
For more on Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird, look here:
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/97395/bird-by-bird-by-anne-lamott/
Transcript
What, what are we hiding? This is a thing I'm
Leela Sinha:sitting with a lot these days, what are we hiding? What are we
Leela Sinha:hiding from each other? What are we hiding from ourselves? How do
Leela Sinha:we reveal and occlude things a little here a little there; one
Leela Sinha:way than the other way so that people see the story that we're
Leela Sinha:trying to tell. And I think this is important, because it's not
Leela Sinha:necessarily wrong. We often imply that it's wrong to hide
Leela Sinha:some parts while highlighting others. And I don't think that's
Leela Sinha:true, because that's how storytelling works. And that is
Leela Sinha:how storytelling has always worked. Always, always, always
Leela Sinha:since the beginning of language and stories, since flickering
Leela Sinha:firelight, and rising sun. Since children at their parent's knees
Leela Sinha:it has always worked like that. Always. Our brains are always
Leela Sinha:filtering the data that they get. Some of our brains do that
Leela Sinha:better than others, some of our brains want everything to be
Leela Sinha:important. But always, in order to notice a pattern, in order to
Leela Sinha:move something forward, we need to be able to decide which
Leela Sinha:details are important in this moment. So when you make a
Leela Sinha:story, whether it's for marketing, or whether it's for
Leela Sinha:your friend, or whether it's for your kid, or whether it's for
Leela Sinha:yourself. Of course, you're going to decide which things are
Leela Sinha:important which parts are important, which segments of the
Leela Sinha:story you should bring forward and which you should let fall
Leela Sinha:back. Where you should dodge and where you should burn. It's a
natural part of the process:
Speaker:darken some things, lighten
natural part of the process:
Speaker:others. And when we do that, what we do is we make the story
natural part of the process:
Speaker:that we understand, our perception of the world, of
natural part of the process:
Speaker:reality, of the thing, of the moment, more accessible. We make
natural part of the process:
Speaker:it easier to share, we share who we are. There is no such thing
natural part of the process:
Speaker:as unbiased storytelling much as old journalism would have tried,
natural part of the process:
Speaker:and did try. But our bias, even if it's just the bias for the
natural part of the process:
Speaker:storyline that we want to tell, is baked in to the choices we
natural part of the process:
Speaker:make, the choices of word,s of connotations, of breaths, of
natural part of the process:
Speaker:pauses, of speed, of inflection. Every single thing we do changes
natural part of the process:
Speaker:the story, shapes the story. We are the hands on the potter's
natural part of the process:
Speaker:wheel. It's the same clay. But everyone makes a different pot.
natural part of the process:
Speaker:And that's good. Because if I want to understand you, I have
natural part of the process:
Speaker:to understand the story that you're telling yourself. I have
natural part of the process:
Speaker:to understand the story that you think it's important for me to
natural part of the process:
Speaker:hear. Which details matter to you, which highlights matter to
natural part of the process:
Speaker:you which things you think are highlights, because what you
natural part of the process:
Speaker:think is a highlight, I might not be that interested in. And
natural part of the process:
Speaker:what I think is a highlight you might not connect to at all. But
natural part of the process:
Speaker:what you were almost gonna leave out but kind of tossed away in
natural part of the process:
Speaker:the corner there, might become the whole story to me, but might
natural part of the process:
Speaker:be the whole reason I want to talk to you, might be the whole
natural part of the process:
Speaker:reason that I become attached, not just to you, but to your
natural part of the process:
Speaker:company, to your brand, to your narrative, to the person that I
natural part of the process:
Speaker:hope that your thing will help me be. And sometimes it's really
natural part of the process:
Speaker:subtle, and sometimes it's not, especially in the world of hyper
natural part of the process:
Speaker:saturated media marketing. Sometimes it's right out front.
natural part of the process:
Speaker:Buy this, be sexy. Do this, be rich. But what if I'm not
natural part of the process:
Speaker:interested in being sexy? What if rich holds no appeal? What if
natural part of the process:
Speaker:what I'm interested in
natural part of the process:
Speaker:is the little kid? Anne Lamott tells this story in Bird by Bird
natural part of the process:
Speaker:where she's kind of walking the readers through a writing
natural part of the process:
Speaker:exercise. And there's this moment where she says, you know,
natural part of the process:
Speaker:you got to narrow down that playground scene. And so she
natural part of the process:
Speaker:focuses in on this one kid that's leaning against the fence
natural part of the process:
Speaker:on the side of the playground. And that kid becomes the whole
natural part of the process:
Speaker:story, even though if you zoom out, they're barely in the
natural part of the process:
Speaker:picture at all. All of this is just another version of filters.
natural part of the process:
Speaker:Instagram filters are just filters. They just allow us to
natural part of the process:
Speaker:show people what we want to show them. But we have to understand
natural part of the process:
Speaker:that it's always a story. It's it's always a little bit of
natural part of the process:
Speaker:artifice, and a little bit of truth. Always. Every word, every
natural part of the process:
Speaker:picture. But it's the art in artifice that allows us to touch
natural part of the process:
Speaker:each other more deeply, that allows us to reach each other
natural part of the process:
Speaker:more genuinely. There's sometimes a reality in fake that
natural part of the process:
Speaker:isn't in the real thing. It tells the story that feels real,
natural part of the process:
Speaker:instead of all of the facts that complicate the thing. Sometimes
natural part of the process:
Speaker:that can be harmful. We have to be aware of the power of
natural part of the process:
Speaker:crafting a narrative. But when we are careful and when we are
natural part of the process:
Speaker:wise and when we are skilled with the art of carving a story
out of a set of facts:that's when we move the world forward.